toad witch 04 - aunt tilly were canning demons Read online

  “But…bottom line, this is our baby. And possibly the only child I’ll ever have. I’d never forgive myself if I missed our baby’s birth. So when Gus called and told me you were in labor, I took the first plane out,” he said, looking sincere.

  “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re here, I just thought…I worried…you’d never come around. And you wouldn’t want anything to do with us.”

  “I’m not all the way around. If that baby comes out sporting horns or wings or hooves or levitating…”

  “You’ll run for the hills and Gus will be beside himself with glee. He’s always wanted a kid with horns and wings and super-powers.”

  “Yeah. I’m sorry, Mara. I know you’re supposed to love a child, no matter what, but if you give birth to something that’s half-demon…”

  “If it’s a demon, you won’t have to worry. Gus will fight you over the right to be the father.”

  “And I’ll happily sign my parental rights over to him. But either way, I felt that I needed to be here.”

  “And if it’s a human baby?”

  “Then I want to be here, and I want to be part of the baby’s life. And Gus will need to understand that.”

  I nodded, and winced in pain. The contractions were getting crazy painful again, and the epidural was doing nothing.

  “Are you okay?”

  “No. Can you get the nurse? The button for the epidural medicine isn’t working. I think maybe they put the epidural in wrong. It’s like my stomach is numb, but my private parts are feeling everything.”

  He left and I noticed that Gus and Vin were both awake. They had been pretending to be asleep to give me and Paul a moment of privacy.

  “You okay?” Gus asked.

  “No,” I repeated, panting. I turned my sight inward, to see how the baby was. “The baby’s stuck. Get the doctor.”

  Paul came back in with the nurse.

  I looked at her. “The baby’s stuck.”

  “I know, I was just coming to tell you the baby’s in distress. We need to get you into the O.R. for a Cesarian.”

  “Well, don’t just stand there, let’s get a move on,” I said.

  “You’re not going to fight me on this? Most mothers fight me on C-sections.”

  “The baby’s stuck. What’s to fight about? We have to get moving.”

  “I’ll call the orderlies. Who’s going to be in the delivery room?”

  I looked at the guys, and they looked at me.

  “Can they all be there? Two of them are the dads, and one’s my brother.”

  “Two dads?” She rolled her eyes and shook her head, like now she’d seen everything. “Sure, why not?”

  I moaned in pain. “I don’t understand why this hurts so much. My stomach is completely numb, and I’m feeling everything down under.”

  “Oh,” the nurse blushed “That’s because epidurals are gravity-based medicine. I took one look at how large you were carrying, and I knew you were going to need a c-section.”

  So she placed me deliberately to numb my stomach?! I closed my eyes and counted to ten before I gave in to any homicidal impulses, and before I knew it, the orderlies had me on a gurney and were rushing me to the O.R.

  IN THE O.R., I was strapped to a board like I was being crucified and morphine was pushed through my epidural. Once the morphine hit, I started shaking uncontrollably and throwing up in a plastic container, and I suddenly understood why I had been strapped down.

  Gus, Paul and Vin sat on one side of me, in surgical scrubs and booties and masks. There was a curtain blocking me from seeing what the nurses were doing to my belly.

  Then the doctor came in. He was the guy from my vision. He was on the younger side, with brown hair, brown eyes, and a sharp nose that reminded me of an eagle’s beak. He must have either had perfect vision or was wearing contacts. He went behind the curtain, raised his hand, and I could see light glinting off the blade of the surgical knife he was holding, before he made the incision. Just like the vision I had had.

  “You’re going to feel some pressure…” the doctor said, as I felt my lungs squeeze upward.

  “Would you look at that? She’s going to have a big one,” the nurse said.

  After a few minutes, Paul stood up and looked over the top of the curtain, then sat back down again, looking nauseous.

  “What is it?” I asked him. “What’s the problem?”

  He swallowed, looking sick. “They have your organs on a silver tray next your body. I could have gone my entire life without ever needing to see that.”

  “As long as they put them back in, in the right order,” I said, and sent up a quick prayer to the universe.

  “Here we go,” said the doctor, and he started pulling and pulling and pulling…

  And I saw the top of the baby’s head, then the face, then the torso, then the legs, and she was crying and screaming in irritation at the light and at the doctors and at leaving the comfort of the womb…

  “It’s a girl! We have a baby girl!” I screamed in joy, trying to memorize all the details of her face, just in case anyone accidentally switched her for a different baby.

  “Birth time is the stroke of midnight on the solstice,” the doctor said, as the nurses hurriedly cleaned her up and measured her.

  “Twenty-seven and a half-inches. Half an inch short of the world record. She’s going to be tall,” one of the nurses said.

  “We’re going to take her to the nursery. You’re going to need to stay here for awhile longer, while we stitch you up.”

  “Go with her,” I told the guys. “Don’t let her out of your sight. I’ll be fine.”

  AFTER I HAD BEEN MOVED to the recovery room, one of the nurses brought my baby in. Gus, Paul and Vin sat there, while I nursed her, and asked me what I was going to name her.

  “Since she was born at midnight, on the Summer Solstice,” I said. “I’m going to name her Litha.”

  “That’s a perfect name,” Gus said.

  You’ve got quite a life ahead of you, Litha,” Vin said.

  “I’m just so glad you’re human, little girl. I was a silly daddy to worry so,” Paul said.

  I looked down at Litha. She stopped nursing to look back at me with unfocused eyes, and I swear, she smiled.

  BEING in the hospital with the baby was quite an experience. And I learned that babies absolutely do communicate with each other, with crying. Litha would hold court in the nursery, where these tiny newborns would cry their panic and confusion, and then stop to listen to my not-so-little baby, while she would cry her answers back, in detail. And each time, when she was done, the new baby would appear soothed and happy.

  I was going to have quite a child on my hands. I wondered how tall she would get? At birth, she was easily the size of a three-month old. No wonder I was having dreams of her walking out of me and demanding the car keys.

  Even though Mama Lua was back—and it turned out that she wasn’t a hoarder, all the garbage and broken items had been courtesy of Silvio—we couldn’t travel with a newborn.

  Thankfully, Nick had accumulated a surprising amount of vacation time, so he and Julie, the crime scene photographer, decided to take a trip of a lifetime and get to know each other better. They were going to start in Norway, then meet up with Nick’s Mom and Gran in England for a week, and then go on a tour of Wales, Scotland, Ireland, Italy and Greece, before they returned.

  I have to say, I was more than a little jealous. And I seriously considered rekindling my romance with Nick, just for the sake of the trip, for all of about five minutes. Then I realized that a), I wouldn’t trade my baby for anything or anyone, b), it took me two days to be able to walk to the bathroom, there was no way I’d be ready to travel any time soon, even if I wanted to, and c) I didn’t want to. All I wanted was to go home with my baby.

  Once I was able to walk down the hall and back, Litha and I were released from the hospital, and we moved into Nick’s studio, with Gus. The coolest thing though, was that the baby see
med to be completely aware and clued in, even though she couldn’t talk yet. When she was only a few days old, Gus made a joke, and she laughed at the punchline.

  Thankfully, Paul had already returned to Wisconsin, so he missed some of her more precocious quirks. Good thing, too. I didn’t want to revisit the argument we had all winter about whether she was carrying human or supernatural DNA, because I was pretty sure it was a mix of both.

  Finally, the baby was old enough to safely travel, so after we presented Frank with the tent, sleeping bag and air mattress we bought for him, Gus, Aunt Tillie and I got on a plane back to Wisconsin.

  When we landed in Milwaukee, Gus surprised me by having a limo pick us up from the airport, to take us to Devil’s Point. Is it any wonder he’s my best friend?

  WHEN WE ARRIVED at Devil’s Point, I was expecting snow and cold and permanent winter. But it looked like summer had finally gotten there. I guess all we had to do was leave, to get the Winter Queen to release her hold.

  The snow was gone, the world was green and blooming and beautiful. As we drove to the cottage, the sun was just setting. An eagle gracefully glided through the brilliantly multi-colored sky, then skimmed the lake, grabbing a fish in its talons. A nesting pairs of loons floated, giving throat to their eerily haunting calls.

  But when we got out of the limo, what shocked me the most, was our cottage. Before we left, I had been complaining about the stairs and the non-baby-friendliness of it all. It was as if the cottage had heard me, and decided to surprise us when we returned.

  Our cottage, instead of being two stories and an attic, was now a sprawling, one-story ranch. So that’s how the cottage remodeled itself over the years—it literally did the entire thing, itself. It was as if the cottage had heard me and wanted us to stay, wanted us to feel like it was our home.

  We walked in and I was both surprised and not surprised to find my bedroom had moved downstairs and was now much larger, and included a nursery. I wondered if the cottage inside of Aunt Tillie’s skull would remain the same, or if it would get a similar remodel?

  Gus’s bedroom was over on the other side of the cottage, which I knew he was going to appreciate if the baby got fussy at night. I handed the baby to Gus and put Aunt Tillie’s skull up on the mantle. Aunt Tillie herself, had zipped off the moment we stepped out of the car, to otherworldly parts unknown. But I knew she’d be back, sooner or later.

  “Wow,” Gus said, whistling as he looked around. “I don’t even know what to say.”

  “I know what to say,” I said, taking the baby back from him. I made silly faces and blew raspberry kisses into her cute little belly until she giggled. “Welcome home.”

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Thank you, to all my human angels, who popped up unexpectedly and helped restore my faith in light and love during the darkest of times.

  A big thank you to my Mom, who went out of her way to illuminate what was hidden in the shadows, and who made it possible for me to continue moving forward, and who continues to contribute to our well-being—all from beyond the grave.

  To all those in the here-and-now, who have wished us well, and to all those in the here-after who have helped pushed us forward when we were stalling out, you have my thanks.

  Thank you to the real Vin McDougal for allowing me to use his name for a fictional character.

  Thank you to all my family and friends—you’ve helped my kid and I get through the darkest of times. And an overdue thank you to all of my friends, family, acquaintances and fans who made it possible for us to spend time with my mom after she had her stroke.

  This is probably the most complex book I’ve ever written. It can be difficult to find humor when you’re dealing with grief and sorrow. But writing it took me out of myself and helped lift me out of the darkness.

  And I really hope that, despite everything else that was going on during the writing of this book, I managed to bring through the heart, laughter, joy and love between Gus and Mara and their crazy crew, and that you’ve enjoyed reading this story as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it.

  THANK YOU!

  Thank you for reading this story and wanting to know more about Tillie and Gus and Mara and the baby. I hope you’ve enjoyed your visit into Tillie’s world!

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  CHRISTIANA MILLER is a novelist, screenwriter and mom who's led an unusual life. In addition to writing for General Hospital: Night Shift and General Hospital, she's had her DNA shot into space (where she's currently cohabiting in a drawer with Stephen Colbert and Stephen Hawking), she's been serenaded by Klingons, and she's been the voices of all the female warriors in Mortal Kombat II and III. If her life was a TV show, it would be a wacky dramedy filled with Dobies and eccentric characters who get themselves into bizarre situations!

  If you want to make sure you're notified of future releases, giveaways and sales, you can join her e-mail newsletter list by clicking here: Newsletter List.

  To learn more about the author, you can visit her online at:

  www.christianamiller.com

  [email protected]

  ALSO BY CHRISTIANA MILLER

  TOAD WITCH: A PARANORMAL MYSTERY SERIES

  Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She’s Dead

  Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie We’re In Trouble

  Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie We’re Kidnapping Cupid

  Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie We’re Canning Demons

  A Tale of 3 Witches

  Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie We’re Speed-Dating the Christmas Demon (to be released)

  TOAD WITCH & STACY JUSTICE MYSTERY NOVELETTES

  A Tale of 3 Witches

  THE THIEF SERIES

  The Thief Who Stole Midnight

  CROWN OF FIRE SERIES

  Cerridwen’s Cauldron (short story prequel)

  Light and Dark Are Turning (includes Cerridwen’s Cauldron)

  Luck Be In The Burning (to be released)

  ANTHOLOGIES

  Naughty or Nice

  Love and Other Distractions

  Every Witch Way But Wicked

  Hex the Halls

  SHORT STORIES

  Cerridwen’s Cauldron

  Krampus Klaus: A Christmas Nightmare

  NON-FICTION

  Self-Publishing On A Shoestring: Insanely Helpful Links For Indie Authors*

  *If this book isn’t available, it’s because it’s been taken down to be updated. It will be available again after it’s updated.

  Audiobooks

  Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She’s Dead

  Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie We’re In Trouble

  If you would like to be notified of future releases, giveaways and sales, you can subscribe to my newsletter at: Christiana’s Newsletter

  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  Table of Contents

  Also By Christiana MIller

  Summary

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Acknowledgments

  Thank You!

  About the Author

  Also By Christiana Miller