toad witch 04 - aunt tilly were canning demons Page 23

  Gus took a closer look. “Karma really does bite.”

  “He may have been a jerk, but he didn’t deserve this,” I said. “I hope the woman got away, at least.”

  “There were no other remains. Our patrol officers shot at the animal a number of times, even tazed it, but it wouldn’t go down. When back-up arrived, it vanished into an alley. Can you sit with our sketch artist and give him a description of the victim? We’re trying to get an I.D. on him, and I want to make sure we’re not missing any identifying marks on the missing portion of his face.”

  “I can do you one better,” I said, pulling out my phone and scrolling through it. “I snapped a photo of them when we arrived, just in case they decided to come after us.”

  “Seriously?” Gus asked. “It was grocery money. No one’s going to kill you for grocery money.”

  “You never know. Here it is.” I showed the photo to Nick.

  “Perfect. Text that to me. I’ll put a search out on the woman, make sure she’s okay.”

  I nodded and sent the photo.

  “Did you catch the demon-dog?” Gus asked.

  “The patrol officers tried. That thing was nasty and fast.”

  I looked at Gus. “We really need to find Frank.”

  NICK DROVE US AROUND, so we could look for Frank. He wasn’t anywhere. Not in front of the store, not over at the strip mall, not at the 99-cent store, not on any street in a one-mile radius of the store.

  I kept looking at my watch, anxious. I didn’t want Frank on the street while Empusa was hunting but we still had to set up our trap for Silvio, and figure out how to get rid of the demon.

  “As much as I’d love to drive around for the next freaking week, looking for some homeless dude, I have actual work to do,” Nick said, parking in front of The Crooked Pantry.

  “Can you at least put an APB out on him?” I asked.

  Nick looked at me like I was crazy. “I’ll tell the beat cops to keep an eye open for him. But that’s the best I can do. Now, get out.”

  WHEN GUS and I walked through the back ritual area to get to the cottage, we were surprised to find Frank, curled up on the sofa.

  “How’d you get in here?” Gus asked.

  He yawned. “I climbed up on the dumpster and jumped over the back gate. You said that this place was warded, and I didn’t want that demon coming after me again. I kept hearing howling. It was making my skin crawl.”

  That was interesting. So, once the wards were introduced to someone, they stayed dormant around that person. It must not work the same way for spirits though, or Aunt Tillie would have left the store a long time ago.

  Gus’s eyes lit up and he pulled me aside. “We have bait. The meal that got away. All we need to do is lower the wards, let the demon sniff him out, and she’ll come right to us. Then we’ll be able to can her ass.”

  Yeah, like that would go over well. Hey, Frank, can we use you for demon bait? It was a great idea though. “We can’t do that behind his back, that wouldn’t be right. See if you can talk him into agreeing to it. I’m going to the cottage. Pip, you’re with me.”

  Pip Squeak hopped out of Gus’s bag and grabbed onto my hand as Gus went to talk to Frank.

  “I’m really starting to like the two of you. It’ll be a shame to see you end.”

  “What are you talking about, Pip? That doesn’t even make sense.”

  Pip shook his head. “You’re messing with a demon’s meal. Empusa is very protective of her food. Until she eats it, at least. Are there more humans like you here?”

  I patted Pip’s hand. “I like you too. You’re kinda fun to have around. Can you get started on the wall, covering the sigils with the wallpaper Gus bought? The baby’s bouncing on my bladder, so I need to make a pit stop.”

  “Where is the paper?” Pip asked me.

  Oh, crap. “I forgot to get the bag from Gus. New plan. You go get the shopping bag from Gus and meet me in the cottage.”

  He nodded and went back to the ritual space behind the store. As I turned towards the cottage, I heard a whispered, “Mara.”

  I stopped and looked around.

  “Mara.”

  What the hell? “Who’s there?”

  He stepped away from the shadows and I saw him. Vin.

  My hand automatically went up to my neck. “You scared the crap out of me, jerkface.”

  “Why? I’m not going to hurt you. I thought we had gotten past that.” At my hesitation, he rolled his eyes. “Fine. I know how important this is to you, so let me be the one to apologize.”

  I unlocked the door to the cottage, but didn’t open it. “What part are you apologizing for? Violating my dreams? Biting me? Making that crappy remark about our mom? Or threatening me?”

  He sighed and looked down. The glow from the streetlights illuminated his face, and he certainly looked remorseful. “All of it. I am profusely sorry I invaded your privacy, scared the crap out of you, and ripped into your neck like a…what was it you said?…a weasel on a chicken. Can we go inside and talk?”

  I hesitated. “I know the store threshold doesn’t do crap, but do private thresholds actually keep you out? Is it true you need to be invited in?”

  He looked sad. “Possibly. When my human body dies and I pass completely into the spirit realm, I may very well find that I’m subject to the metaphysical laws that govern vampires. But right now, my vampire spirit still inhabits my human body, in my normal lifespan, and my flesh gives me autonomy and free will. So, no, thresholds do not keep me out—yet. Locks, on the other hand… They tend to slow me down a little.”

  I smiled and thought about my next step. Gus and I could definitely use some help tonight. “You still owe me, right?”

  Vin rolled his eyes. “I suppose. I’m not in the habit of owing my prey. But then, I’ve never preyed on a family member before. So, I’m open to the idea of an acceptable form of restitution.”

  I motioned him to follow me into the cottage.

  VIN STOPPED and stared at the kitchen wall, even though I hadn’t turned on the light. “What’s that?”

  “The wall?” I asked. “Why? What are you seeing?”

  He closed his eyes and concentrated. “It’s like…portal after portal, laid on top of each other, but they’re not all the same. Most are, but not all. They feel dormant though. Like they’ve been closed off. Except the last one, the one that feels different. That one’s still open.”

  I nodded, impressed. “This guy keeps breaking in here and re-laying and re-opening the portal. The last time he made a mistake and instead of opening the portal to the demon, he opened it to a homunculus.”

  Vin raised an eyebrow. “Fun. Do you know who’s doing it?”

  “We think it’s Silvio.”

  “Mama Lua’s old assistant?” Vin asked, surprised.

  “Yeah, you know him? It took us awhile to figure it out.”

  “And the help of Pip!” chimed in a voice.

  I looked down. The outside lights illuminated a mid-sized green homunculus. Pip walked in, carrying a shopping bag.

  “I tried to ask Gus for the bag, but he told me to scram. So I kicked him in the shins, stole the bag and scrammed. He may complain.” Pip explained.

  Vin looked at Pip and laughed. “Who is this?”

  Pip stiffened, and said as formally as he could, “I am Pip Squeak. Lord of all Homunculi. And who are you, vampire?”

  “I’m Vin,” Vin said, extending his hand to shake Pip’s. “Mara’s half-brother.”

  Pip solemnly shook Vin’s hand. You’d better behave yourself around Mara, vampire, or you’ll answer to me.”

  Vin started laughing. “Don’t worry, little dude. I won’t hurt her. She provides far too much amusement.”

  What is it with everyone in both this world and the next? How did I get to be entertainment central?

  “Are you here to help us?” Pip asked. “It’s going to be a big night. We’re going to catch Empusa.”

  Vin raised an eyebrow at me
. “Is that your demon? This is going to be a rough night.”

  “What can I say? We have a lot going on tonight. It could get a little…bloody.”

  “Tell me how I may help,” Vin said, grinning. “I always love a good party.”

  “How fast and stealth are you?” I asked.

  “I am half-human and half-vampire,” Vin replied. “My physical skills are beyond human limitation or comprehension. Think…Navy Seal and multiply that by the power of three.”

  I nodded. “We could definitely use your help. We have way too much going on tonight. Can you deal with our sneaky portal-opener? He’s planning to trash this place tonight.”

  “If you don’t mind, I’ll call baby bat in for some assistance. It will be good training for him.”

  “You think Morty will be willing to help us? He was pretty pissed when I banned him.”

  “But then you removed the ban. He has a forgiving nature. Besides, he can use the experience. Morty and I will deal with Silvio, while you lay your trap for Empusa.”

  “Great. You can start by working with Pip to make the wall look like it’s been painted over.”

  “Look alive, vampire.” Pip threw the roll of wallpaper at Vin. Vin caught it single-handedly, without even looking.

  While they got to work, I went outside and told Gus about Vin staking out the cottage.

  Gus got stupidly excited. “For real? You’re not yanking my chain, right? There’s an actual vampire in the cottage? I want to meet him. Does he look like Lestat? Or is he more the Louis type?” Gus asked, referencing Interview With The Vampire by Anne Rice.

  “Let’s finish setting up the back here, and you can go see for yourself,” I said.

  We lit all the candles in the ritual space and surrounding areas, so that even in blackout conditions, the back would be glowing with soft, flickering light and we would be able to see what we were doing.

  I HAD a feeling Silvio was probably watching, waiting for the right time to strike, so I didn’t want to turn on the lights in the cottage. Thankfully, the streetlights streamed enough light through the windows, that the cottage was never fully dark. I looked around, but I didn’t see Vin or Pip anywhere. The wall looked pristine and white though, in the semi-darkness.

  Vin had put that up incredibly fast. Silvio was totally going to buy that we had gotten rid of his sigils.

  “Vin!” I whispered, as we walked in.

  “Hush,” a voice whispered out of nowhere. I jumped and would have screamed, but a hand blocked my mouth.

  Next to me, Gus was looking positively gleeful, like it was his birthday and Christmas rolled into one. “You must be Vin,” he whispered.

  “This is supposed to be a stealth operation, is it not? Why don’t the two of you go somewhere else and stop giving away my location? And take the green thing with you. He talks too much.”

  I nodded and Vin moved his hand. “Pip, come here,” I commanded in a whisper.

  Pip reluctantly walked over. “But I want to stay with them,” he whined.

  “You heard the vampire. You talk too much. You need to come with us.”

  “Are you really a vampire?” Gus asked Vin.

  Vin’s face changed, became more feral as he bared his fangs, a soft hiss vibrating in his chest and throat. The energy rolling off of him was palpable and terrifying.

  Gus’s mouth dropped open. “That is the single, most sexiest thing I have ever seen,” Gus said.

  Vin’s face shifted and became normal again, the malevolent energy dissipating into the ether.

  “Where’s Morty?” I asked.

  A figure peeked up from behind the couch in the living room. “Not banned now, am I? All of a sudden, I’m useful now, right?”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I just couldn’t have you feeding on customers. But hey, you want to feed on the jackass who’s going to be breaking in here tonight, you go right ahead.”

  Vin pointed at the back door. I nodded and dragged Gus and Pip with me as Vin and Morty returned to their hiding places.

  GUS AND PIP and I went into the outdoor bedroom unit. Gus and I turned on the lights.

  “You’re both going to stay inside the bedroom,” Gus said. “And let the men folk deal with Empusa.”

  “Sounds good to me,” said Pip.

  “Like hell I am,” I said.

  “Pip doesn’t like playing with demons. You two humans can keep all the crazy for yourselves.”

  After Pip picked out a hiding spot and curled up on a small pillow to wait, Gus and I turned off the lights and snuck over to the store, to make sure we had all of our canning/cursing equipment ready for Empusa.

  Frank was still sitting on the sofa in the back, looking terrified. I looked at Gus. Gus looked at me. “What? He agreed to the plan. He knows either way, he’s toast. Either he can wait around until she eats him, or he can put himself out there as bait and help us get rid of her.”

  I gave Frank a thumb’s up. He gave me a weak nod as Gus and I went into the back of the store.

  “Don’t turn on the lights,” Aunt Tillie said. “You’ll blow your cover.”

  “That’s why we’re going to do this in the storeroom,” I whispered to Aunt Tillie.

  IT WAS pitch black in the storeroom. I felt along the wall until I found the light switch and turned it on.

  “Are we clear on the plan?” Gus asked me, as we set out our supplies and made sure we had everything ready to go.

  I nodded. “Vin’s going to wait until Silvio shows up to open the portal and call Empusa. Then he’s going to immobilize him.”

  “Right. Frank’s scared as hell but he’s agreed to help us. Once we have Silvio neutralized, I’m going to lower the the wards, so Empusa can slip through. Then, while she’s trying to eat Frank, we’re going to can her ass.”

  “It’s not like anything can go wrong with that, right?” I asked.

  “Easy peasy,” Gus agreed.

  “Unless Frank gets eaten in the process,” I said.

  “Or I do,” Gus said.

  “Or me,” I added.

  “It’s going to be a fun night,” Gus said. “Time to set the demon trap.”

  AS I HELPED Gus lay out the dual containment circles and the binding sigils in the back, the commotion and the sound of crashing furniture in the cottage startled me.

  I jumped, breathing fast, my heart racing, forgetting for a moment where I was. Our plan was in motion.

  “It’s okay,” Gus said. “I’ve got this. You get into the storeroom, lock the door and wait for this to end.”

  “And miss all the fun? No way,” I said.

  Gus smiled. “I knew I was rubbing off on you.”

  WHEN WE OPENED the kitchen door, there were sigils back on the wall. Vin was standing next to the sink with a grin on his face, licking blood off his lips. Pip Squeak was doing a “Walk Like An Egyptian”-style victory dance.

  Silvio was bound, gagged with duct tape, and tied to one of the kitchen chairs, looking pale, with Morte standing behind him, feeding on his energy. There was a large band-aid on Silvio’s neck, and the skin under it was bruised.

  I looked at Vin and he shrugged. “We could have done it the easy way, but he decided to give me a hard time.”

  I turned to Silvio. “Looks like you’re knee-deep in stuff you shouldn’t be in,” I said. “I’m going to take the tape off. If you scream for help, I’ll put it back on and leave you to the mercy of Vin, Morte and Pip.”

  Silvio nodded his understanding.

  “Yeah, that’s right. That’s Mr. Pip to you, prisoner,” Pip said, kicking Silvio’s ankle. “You should have seen us, Mara. Me and Vin here, we made a great team.”

  “And me,” Morte said.

  “Oh, yeah, and whats-his-face there too.”

  “I’m sure you did, Pip.” I peeled off the duct tape and Silvio winced in pain.

  “I didn’t do anything,” he said. “Mama Lua gave me a key to keep an eye on her place. That’s all I was doing, when I g
ot jumped by your thugs.”

  “What’s your damage, you idiot?” Gus burst out. “Just because Mama Lua fired your skanky, stalker ass, you decided to unleash Empusa? A flesh-eating shapeshifter? Who fucking does that?”

  Silvio’s face turned even paler. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t…”

  Pip kicked him in the ankles.

  Vin’s hand shot out and squeezed Silvio’s throat a little. Silvio gasped for air. Vin bared his fangs. “I’m going to enjoy this.”

  Silvio flinched and grew pale. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I was mad. Please don’t kill me.”

  Vin let go of his throat, but looked like he could rip into Silvio’s neck in the blink of an eye. Behind him, Morty was still feeding. Vin made a gesture and Morty stopped. I knew Silvio would be nursing a killer migraine soon.

  “She fired me for looking at her funny. What the hell? What kind of reason is that to fire someone? I couldn’t pay my rent. I wound up losing my apartment before I got that job at the Great Goddess. I loved that apartment. So, I figured I’d do something to Mama Lua that was worth getting fired over. And if it shut down her business, all the better.”

  “But how did you wind up unleashing Empusa at your girlfriend’s house? That’s what I don’t get. Why call up a demon in your own freaking yard? That seems the height of stupidity,” I said.

  “I didn’t mean to. It was a trial run, just to see if I had the sigils right. I didn’t mean to actually call her in.”

  “And the blood Emily saw on the ground?”

  He hung his head. “I got a bunch of livers from the butchers and asked for extra blood. Then I mixed some of my blood into it, and used that to practice creating the sigils on the grass. But that’s all it was supposed to be, just practice. I tried to wash it all away before Emily saw it.”

  “You are such a fucking tool,” Gus said. “If you had one already open, why did you keep trying to open more demon portals over here?”

  “I wasn’t. I was trying to open the same portal here, so the demon would come here instead, but she never comes here, no matter how many freaking portals I open. Instead, she keeps showing up in Emily’s yard, killing things and leaving the bones for Emily to find. I don’t understand why.”