toad witch 04 - aunt tilly were canning demons Page 11

  “Do you have anything child-appropriate?” the man asked.

  Ah-ha! Just what I had been practicing for. “Down the back aisle, we have some fairy statues, a jewelry box with a black cat wearing a wizard hat, mini-cauldrons, broom-shaped pens and mini-skulls with glitter. Depending on how old your little witch is, we have witchlette-appropriate books by Silver RavenWolf on the bookshelf and I think I also saw a Celtic coloring book. Oh, and there’s also some fun jewelry in the glass cases by the counter.”

  “Fabulous,” the woman said. “We’ll check it out.”

  They sauntered to the back of the store. I felt pretty dang proud of myself, as if I had passed a final exam. The bell over the door rang as the UPS guy walked in with a delivery. There was a box from Capall Bann, a box from Llewellyn and a third box from a publisher I didn’t recognize. I signed for them, opened the boxes and my eyes lit up. I could feel my inner child jumping up and down with joy. I loved esoteric books, and Mama Lua had more in her store than I even knew had been written. I was going to get a lot of reading done while we were here.

  I quickly sorted through each box and set aside one of anything that had to do with demons or dark magick, or were by authors I respected, for my own reading.

  I had just finishing stocking the shelves with the rest of the books and alphabetizing them by author, a when a young, skinny kid opened the door just enough to slide in. Well, he seemed like a kid to me, but he was probably in his twenties.

  I tried to greet him, but he didn’t make eye contact, he just pushed right past me, as if I wasn’t there. He walked slightly bent over, focusing more on his shoes than on the larger world, hiding his face behind his hair.

  Okay, then. I wasn’t sure what else to do with myself. No one seemed to need me. I didn’t want to hover and make customers feel uncomfortable. I didn’t have any cleaning to do. Would it be proper for me to sit behind the counter and read one of those super-tempting books? It would be a form of advertising, right?

  I noticed Aunt Tillie subtly shift her attention, and I suddenly realized she was watching the socially-awkward kid. I turned to watch him as well. He was standing behind the woman, while the man was oblivious, intent on looking through the merchandise. It was weird. It was like the kid was hoovering her. The more the kid seemed to suck the woman’s energy into himself, the dimmer her aura seemed to get. She raised her hand to her forehead, like she had suddenly gotten a headache.

  I needed something iron. I picked up the black wire wastebasket and dumped out the papers that were in it. Then, I snuck up behind the kid and placed the wastebasket firmly over him, putting his head in an iron cage, breaking his sightline.

  “Hey!” he hollered. “What the hell?!”

  The iron cut him off from his supply and prevented him from continuing to feed on the woman, which is what I wanted. Iron has very special properties, especially in magick. The woman turned around, startled.

  “I’m sorry, don’t mind me,” I said to them. “I’m just getting my friend here back, for a trick he played on me, yesterday.”

  He stared to protest as I pulled him away. I leaned forward and whispered, “Shut it, baby vampire. Before I call the cops and tell them you were pick-pocketing that lady.”

  “But I wasn’t,” he whispered back.

  “I know exactly what you were doing, and it was just as bad.” I pushed him behind the counter, onto a stool, and removed the basket. “Sit, stay. No talking, no feeding.”

  Without the curtain of hair over his face, he looked like a wanna-be Marilyn Manson. His skin was artificially pale, his eyes ringed with black liner, his nostrils flared and his lips were blackish-red and pulled into a pout.

  The couple came to the counter to ring up their purchases, the woman still rubbing her head. “I don’t suppose you have anything for a headache?” she asked. “This migraine seemed to hit me out of nowhere.”

  I glared at the kid. Then I took a large ibuprofen bottle from the side of the register, and popped off the lid. “I’m so sorry about that. Do you need water?”

  “No, I have an iced tea in the car, thanks,” she said, as I shook a few tablets out, into her hand.

  I quickly rang up their purchases, and after they left, I locked the freaking door, so no one else would come in, while I dealt with the baby vampire.

  “THE MASTER ISN’T GOING to like this,” the kid said, sulking.

  “Like I care?”

  “You should. He’s your worst nightmare.”

  “Maybe that would scare me, if I had any idea who he was. But right now, I am your worst nightmare.”

  “You don’t know anything about me.”

  “I know you’re a parasite. A human mosquito. And I’m pretty sure this isn’t the first time you’ve used this place as a feeding ground.”

  He looked even sulkier, if that was possible. This had to be the vampire problem Mama Lua had been trying to tell us about.

  “What’s your name?”

  “What’s yours?” he countered.

  “Mara.”

  “Morte.”

  “Morty?”

  “No. Morte. Morte d’Evil.”

  “The death of evil?”

  “No! Evil Death. Get it right.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Me? You’re the one mashing two languages together with no idea of how they fit.”

  “Whatever. I’m not discussing my name with you.”

  “Fine, Morty. Let’s discuss what you were doing, instead, and why it’s wrong.”

  “It’s not like I was sucking their blood,” he complained.

  “You were feeding on their energy, without their permission. Why?”

  “You are what you eat,” he quipped. “And I want to be pure energy.”

  “Yeah? Well, until you achieve a pure energy state of being and you’re no longer feeding on people, you’re banned. It’s bad enough you’re a wanna-be baby vampire. But you seem to have no comprehension of ethics or remorse. You can’t use people as cattle. Get out.”

  He looked at me, shocked. “You can’t do that. You don’t even own this store. Mama Lua does.”

  “She’s not here. Until she gets back, I’m running things. Get out,” I repeated. “Come back when you grow up.” I unlocked the door and held it open.

  His eyes filled up with tears. I felt bad, but I couldn’t have him feeding on customers. They would stop shopping here. The last thing I wanted was to have to explain to Mama Lua why her business went belly-up, on my shift.

  “Out, Morty” I repeated. “This store isn’t a recharging station for vampires.”

  “Morte,” he sniffed.

  “Morty,” I said, with more emphasis.

  “You’re going to regret this when the Master hears. He’s going to make you sorry,” he said as he slid off the stool and left.

  Now, I didn’t know if I could really ban the kid or not—I mean, a store is a public place and bottom line, it’s not even my store. I’d have to google it to see if it was even legal.

  But at least I wasn’t acting like some store owners I’d heard of, who banned people for stupid reasons, like not coughing up some ridiculous favor they thought they were entitled to, or because the person stood up for someone the store owner was bullying, or as a way to protect their own sleazy secrets. Feeding on customers was a valid reason for banning, right?

  Gus actually got banned from a pagan store in Nevada, a few years ago, back when he was spending his summers working the Ren Faire circuit. It really pissed him off, because the only thing he did was walk in on the store owner having sex with a customer’s husband in the storeroom, while the customer, (who was a regular), was getting her cards read.

  Gus got banned to keep him from revealing their secret tryst to the other customers. Although the owner claimed it was because he walked into the “employees only” storeroom, when he was trying to find her, and that was against the rules. We heard later that the wife found out about the affair anyway, so the store owner banned the wi
fe as well.

  I guess being pagan doesn’t keep people from being vindictive, manipulative, lying cowards who abuse their power, (even though I think it should), any more than being any other religion does.

  People either have an ethical compass, or they don’t. And if they don’t, or if their ethics are entirely self-serving, or if they have the ability to somehow set their ethical compass aside whenever anyone yanks their chain, then as far as I’m concerned, they have no business fooling around with any form of magick. Those are the people who give witches a bad name.

  One way or another, they will pay the coin for what they’re doing. Unfortunately, all too often, so will the people around them.

  THE REST of the day was pretty quiet, with only a trickle of (well-behaved) customers. By the time Gus finally showed up with his bag of tricks and some gear, my eyes were bloodshot from reading, I was getting tired of my own thoughts and even Aunt Tillie had gotten bored with nagging me.

  “You missed all the excitement,” I told Gus.

  “I was busy. I had to get ready for tonight, and supervise the crime scene cleaners. You are going to love what they did.”

  “I can imagine. And you are going to hate what you missed,” I said, and I filled him in on what happened.

  “Are you kidding me? I missed the baby vampire?! Aw, man! I can’t believe you banned him. You know who you should have banned? Anyone who’s oblivious enough, or stupid enough, not to notice someone feeding on them. They’re a menace to themselves.”

  I rolled my eyes. “That’s one way to look at it.”

  “Ready to lock up? We’re losing daylight.”

  “Please, tell me you are not stupid enough to spend the night in some stranger’s yard, waiting for whatever is eating the local vermin, to show up,” Aunt Tillie said, sounding cross.

  “Something that can eviscerate the vermin and lay out the bones like a trail? Of course we’re going.” Gus chortled and it turned into a cough.

  “Sounds like you need more time in the steam room,” I said.

  “It’s a process,” he agreed.

  “We’ll be fine, Aunt Tillie. Safety in numbers.”

  She snorted. “Like bronchitis boy going to be much help? What’s he going to do if it attacks you? Quip it to death? Cough it into submission? You need me there to look after you.”

  “You are most definitely not going. In fact, I ban you from going. You would spoil the fun.” Gus said. “And I don’t have bronchitis. It’s that dusty earth stuff. But I’m almost back to normal. Another trip to the steam room and my lungs will be pink and healthy.”

  And Tillie glared at him, her eye sockets sparking. “You might have a say if I cared what you thought, but I don’t. I’m going with you.”

  “No, you’re not,” I said. “You need to stay here and watch the store until we get back. Holler if anything happens.”

  “We’re taking my blackthorn staff with us. It’ll give us enough protection against either magickal or mundane threats,” Gus said.

  “Why are you taking advice from this idiot?!” Aunt Tillie snapped at me.

  “Sorry, Aunt Tillie, no time to talk. We’ve got to go,” I said.

  Over Aunt Tillie’s vociferous protests, complaints and occasional name-calling, we finished packing up supplies, grabbed a couple of camping chairs and blankets, and headed over to Emily’s to catch a demon.

  CHAPTER 8

  “You’ll need to leave your back door unlocked, and we’ll need free access to the bathroom and the refrigerator,” Gus told Emily.

  She rolled her eyes. “No, I thought I’d make the pregnant chick pee in the bushes. Asshole. Other than you eating and peeing, what’s the plan?”

  “We’ve got a motion-activated, night vision camera. Best case scenario, we catch it in the act, so we can see what we’re dealing with, if you are being haunted by a demon or if it’s just a hungry mountain lion or coyote.”

  She nodded. “Sounds good. Just don’t make too much noise. My boyfriend’s a light sleeper.”

  GUS and I sat in a couple of camping chairs, in Emily’s back yard, watching the sunset. Once night fell, Gus wrapped up in a blanket, but I was still hot. June gloom weather in California meant lower temperatures than you’d expect, but still, it’s pretty nice, especially compared to Devil’s Point.

  “Surveillance sucks. It’s boring. Aunt Tillie’s right. This is a stupid idea,” I said.

  “She’s wrong and it’s a genius idea,” Gus said, fiddling with his camera. “Especially once I get this night-vision camera set up. It’s going to do all the watching for us, while we go raid the fridge.”

  “Where’d you get that, anyway?”

  “It’s Nick’s.”

  “He gave you a night-vision camera?” I asked, surprised.

  “Not exactly. I had to do some creative borrowing. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

  “Did you borrow one of Nick’s guns, in case it actually is a mountain lion?”

  “No. He has some kind of weird obsession with his guns. He won’t let me near them. Won’t even let me stand nearby, when he’s unlocking the safe, just in case I figure out the combination.”

  “He’s probably afraid you’ll shoot one of us by accident.”

  “I brought a blackthorn staff and a sword. We’ll be fine. Which one do you want?”

  “Blackthorn. I know your sword. It’s not sharp, and it’s not balanced. I don’t know if it’s even real. You made it in a sword-making class, using tools from the Middle Ages.”

  “That’s exactly why it’s even more real than real. It’s heavy and it’s beautiful and I’ve imbued it with magickal protection. We’ll be fine.” He handed me the blackthorn staff.

  “So if we get in trouble, you’re going to bludgeon whatever-it-is with your blunt sword before it eats us, while I smack it around with your staff?”

  “Mock me now, but if it’s a demon, you’ll be glad I brought magickal protection. I also have a small vial of holy water, graveyard dirt, bone dust and I’m wearing my super-charged amulet. What can go wrong?”

  I sighed. What, indeed.

  “Now hush, before you scare whatever it is away.”

  “At least you’re not coughing as much anymore. That would have definitely scared it away. What’s that?”

  Gus looked up from the other camera he was playing with. “Back-up night vision camera,” he said, holding it up. “I made it.”

  “Get out,” I said, laughing.

  “No, for real. You can find out how to do anything on YouTube. I googled how to turn a digital camera into a night vision camera.”

  “So, you’re just going to take random pictures all night, and hope you catch something?” I asked.

  “If it’s an Otherworldly creature, it’ll come through at liminal times,” Gus said. “Midnight’s our next window. After that, we’re looking at dawn.”

  I tightened my grip on the staff. “I am not staying until sunrise. So, that’s the plan? We’re going to randomly take pictures at liminal times and hope we get lucky?”

  “Not randomly, little Miss Grumpy,” Gus said, rummaging through his bag. “I’m more prepared than that.” He held up something that looked like binoculars attached to a head harness. “Night-vision goggles.”

  “Is that Nick’s too? That’s why you wanted to do this stake out. Admit it. You just wanted a reason to play with Nick’s night-vision toys.”

  He just grinned, and went into the house to turn off the outside lights.

  When he came out, he put on the night vision goggles and looked around, turning in a complete circle. “This is awesome. I can see everything.”

  Jus then, Emily flipped the outside lights back on and walked out.

  “Agh!” Gus screamed, ripping the goggles off and covering his eyes with his arm. “What the hell is wrong with you, woman? Why would you do that? Are you intentionally trying to blind me?”

  Emily sniffed, looking indignant. “Well, excuse the fuck out
of me. I was just coming outside to see if you needed anything. I was trying to be considerate of the two of you. And you’re biting my freaking head off for no reason.”

  Gus squinted at her. “You know what we need from you? For you to go away. Turn the lights off, keep the lights off, and stop trying to micro-manage us.”

  “And you need to stop being a fucking asshole,” Emily snapped.

  “That’s enough. I’ve had it. Let’s go. She can find someone else to help her. I didn’t want to be here anyway,” I said, trying to stand up, which wasn’t at all easy to do from a camp chair. I felt like a Weeble trapped in a canvas sling.

  “No, I’m sorry, okay,” Emily said. “I’m just on edge. If you need anything, text me. I promise, no more lights. Just please, stay.” And with that, she slipped back inside and turned the lights off.

  We sat there, in the dark, for what seemed like hours. Gus was watching everything through his goggles and not really wanting to share them for more than a minute at a time. I must have nodded off at some point, because the next thing I knew, I was lost in an odd dreamscape.

  I was walking through North Hollywood. But it was different. It smelled like there had been a recent rain, and the street, slick with oil and water, reflected the lights. A lot more lights then there should have been.

  When I looked up, I saw thousands of stars in the sky. Stationary stars, moving stars, shooting stars. In a city that’s so perpetually bright, visible stars usually tend to be actors who live here.

  I couldn’t get enough of the night sky. I just stood and watched, feeling the immensity of the universe. There were so many stars visible. It was mind-blowing. One of the stars moved towards me. It swooped down and there was an explosion of light.

  I shielded my eyes with my hand, and when I looked up, a tall, imposing man was standing in front of me, dressed in a cape, as if we were in the 1800s.